So here I am stuck at home everyday for almost 10 hours everyday. That'd be from around 2pm to whenever I sleep. And knowing in close to 2 months, my life will be a new but boring routine for the next 2 and a half years don't sound too great. The point in me writing and penning down my thoughts here is not for viewership, since I can probably count the number of people who read anything on this blog with 1 hand. If I didn't start this blog, I can see myself slowly going crazy. This is the only place I can just spill my guts and ramble away, hence the writing style here is to a "projected audience"....ironic isn't it?

Yes, feels so much more comfortable typing as though I am a writer of sorts and that people will eventually get to read these posts. It really feels like I am talking to someone out there. Better than writing as though I am just thinking to myself, I can do any other time. Whereas if I were to think out loud or just speak when no one is there to listen, it'd just worry my parents. Had a really awkward situation regarding a "suicide note" with my folks before, not a chance will it happen again. Just another reason to hate myself, whenever something stupid happens.

Have always been aware of the problem, don't have the solution though. Maybe because the solution is gone, but then there are always other solutions right? So far nothing works. Waiting out seems like the only option. Hate every possible trait within this person. Everything is a lie. Have much time do you have left? I am you and you are me, that's not true. Nobody can understand if nothing is said, but nobody understand even when said. Liar, everything about you is superficial. Fake. Useless. No one sees it.