Just came back from drinking with the guys, who you might ask? Jian yong, Ernest, Randhir, Kai wen, Pearson and Kevin. Well, Kevin left early so he skipped out the drinking part. We don't drink so much mind you, not to the point we are all wasted beyond human recognition. Met some high school classmates, Greta, Eunice and Nirmala at the bar by chance. Didn't get a chance to catch up that much but it was still nice to see them. Sometimes I think its best that I start anew from secondary school life, because it's keeps reminding me of the past. I can't let go at all and I want to forget everything, the worst is knowing that she doesn't even consider me as a friend. I don't blame her, I still love her but what's the point?

Maybe sometimes I drink trying to use that to escape from reality, but that won't solve my problems and I am aware of that. Many people just drink and wake up the next day complaining about their hangovers, but there are afew who reflect upon drinking. Strange it might sound, but I do that whenever I drink. I know there are others out there who do the same, if they are still sober enough to rationalise their actions. Drinking makes me think, it relaxes my body but works my mind. It makes me realise alot of shit, about issues people rarely address.

Don't mind my language though, it makes me sound drunk but hell if I was drunk would I be able to type or pen down my thoughts this well? Drinking often puts me in a bitter mood, right about when everyone leaves and my mind like clock works just sets the gears in motion - chains of thoughts just flow freely. Thoughts not about which girl I just saw on the street looks better, but serious issues believe it or not like politics, world issues and even economics. I do, however appreciate girls who have a good sense of dressing. Something simple but appealing, and not too complex nor over the top. Come on, any healthy heterosexual guy out there WILL have thoughts like these.

Who knows? Thinking too much might just be the problem and solution for me. So far the pros and cons just balance right, nothing outweighs the other at least for now. For all I know even I don't understand myself at times. I don't even know what I am thinking, and I am a freak. I am a weirdo, a worthless human.