My last supper.........with my folks.........until 2 weeks later :D

Had a nice juicy burger at Empire State, looks good right?

Yeah, this is how big it really was.

Still doubting the size? Yes. That is what you think it is! That's my Kube mp3 player right there sitting on the fries, to justify the freakin' size of the burger.

Did I mention the patty is 3cm thick?

Alright, I'll be seeing you guys in about 2 weeks time! Take care of yourselves and stay cool! :D

The last time I watched a movie at the cinema was when Watchmen was out. Not a big fan of Harry potter but since my days are numbered, what the hey! Nothing too impressive, full of plausible sexual innuendos but awesome! - just for about 30 secs.

I haven't been following the series, but HAH! The plot was all too predictable! And really, Harry potter has to be blind or something. Ignoring Hermione and going for Ginny, what's the deal man?The scar was probably proof of Voldemort removing half of Harry's brain or something.

On the other hand, Dumbledore whose sexual orientation is questionable, was a bad-ass mutherfucka! Dude had like more than 70 Gollums crawling over him, but was still capable of burning the shit outta them all even after he had taken...laxatives maybe? Right after that little pyromaniac act of his, I gain respect for him. That was all in a mere 30 seconds.

Ron was being a ignorant douche-bag as usual, Draco was like some whiney little bitch and Snape was like Ozzy Osbourne 'cept the part of being the fuckin' half-blood prince of darkness and without some Ozzy shades. Too bad he didn't bite Dumbledore's head off like the REAL Ozzy Osbourne would, instead he just killed him with some words.

I won't say it was a crappy movie, nor will I say it was spectacular. Maybe to the hard-core HP fans it would be the most awesome thing ever to hit the silver screen, but then that is just bias opinion. Neither a fan nor a hater I say it was average, but I stress again that Dumbledore is wicked sick!

After close to a year of planning, we managed to find a single day everyone was free. Trust me on this, it's not as easy as you think. We went on down to Red Dynasty and played paintball!

It's the closest thing to firing a gun in Singapore, but nevertheless still oodles of fun! It shoot projectiles, it's loud and it still has the psychological effect like a gun does. It still hurts quite abit though, well it should. Anything flying at 92ft/s heading towards you will most likely hurt on impact.

Who went? Kevin, Kai wen, Ernest, Mabel, Ian, Jian yong, Yuan yi, Runday, Zhenglin,Wan ling, Pearson and Ying hui. Just like how Ian and I predicted, Runday was the first to rush to position. Only thing is the game hadn't even started. Everyone was covered in bruises, but in the end it was well worth it!

It's been a crazy weekend! A 12 hour Futsal event, Reaching Jhana's first proper recording, paintball and chilling with Ride of the Valkyries. On top of that, I got my MD-2! Can't wait to try it out! I am really tired, would love to upload a picture of this huge ass bruise which is almost the size of my palm but I can't get a nice shot of it. Hah. I'll see if I cant take a nice one tomorrow but for now sleep beckons!

A smile that hides the words from my heart.

So I need to wake up around 5.30am later, WHY THE HELL AM I STILL WIDE AWAKE?!

-After a brief chill session-

Went out to buy stuff today, getting ready for my long vacation. Bought the Kube Mp3 player thing and some drawers. Some of you might wonder why buy drawers? Don't they provide you with cupboards and a locker and stuff at Tekong? Go look up a dictionary.

This weekend is gonna be one heck of a weekend. Tomorrow is jam-packed with a day job then jamming at night. Followed by a Colourful Sunday! Literally. We iz gonna play paint ball! Funny how it took us over a year to plan this outing, when it's such a simple task which took no more than 10 mins to finalize.

Great efficiency! Nah. Actually it was hard to get 10 people free on a same day. Try it, it's not an easy task. Plus, most of us don't actually have school holidays so that's another issue to solve. Gah! Only 3 and a half hours left to sleep. Good luck Vicky, like totally freakin' seriously. I think in my previous blog, I did mention tips and tricks to help you save time waking up and maximize/optimize time between wake up to leaving the house.

However, they won't really work if you don't get up on time anyways.

Looking at how many of my friends are going overseas, travelling and all makes me really really envious. They go to Hong Kong, China, Sydney, Japan, America and many other places. What about me? It's not that I am comparing myself to them, being jealous because they are more well off than me. Rather than being sore about it, I actually am envious about them getting so much exposure.

And most of them make those trips in a way part of chasing their dreams. They see the world, learn from their travels and experience a new lifestyle. At this age, you'd think I would have a dream or some sort of goal. Ironically, this dreamer is stuck in fantasy and a naive mindset. My goals are too far-fetched, too unrealistic that I have been laughed at many times.

In short, I have no dream. No feasible realistic goal. There are so many things I want, but none that stands out the most. Someone once asked me how will I be able to support a family in future? I wasn't sure. I thought time would tell, and we'd grow together to see something. Something which would set us on the right path. Time did tell. We grew apart. Somehow the path wasn't right, and it just forked out in two separate ways.

Now I still stand lost wandering around. Everyone else seem to be going somewhere while I stray. I hope this 2 years will give me a good time to think hard about my future. I don't want to stand still and let any opportunity slide by, leaving me with nothing but a regret. Gutless, afraid. I no longer want to just give a smile that hides the words from my heart.

Hoe-down.

With so little time left, I have given up. Maybe I was forcing myself to believe it, in the end everything should take place naturally. What's more it's just not nice to interfere, also people do change according to the company and environment around them.

I guess the timing is rather nice, I will just consider this coming 7 weeks as getaway. Not a pleasant vacation but a fresh start for me. My only fear? Paranormal activity. I really mean it. I don't want to see anything there, nor do I want to experience anything. If they'd like a nice chat instead of sitting around and staring down at you then I'd be more than happy to strike a conversation.

Then again, before I go in I was thinking of getting the BOSS DS-2 distortion pedal. It's on sale now, but there's only 2 left. Argh. If I buy it, I will only use it for less than 5 days only to return 2 weeks later. Ah man.....$96 instead of the usual $170, would anyone be willing to sponsor me perhaps as some sort of pre-NS gift?

I'd be looking forward to THAT! hahaha.

Words with Nest.

V: Fit or jazz?

N: Jazz, you see jazz is white light then red. Fit, is red with 2 pieces of white.

V:Damn. You know something? I think I place cars more important than girls now.

So it's Cars no.1, girls no.2!

N: Don't talk cock la, cannot one! Cannot one!


Sitting at the junction known to us exclusively as "Jhana Point", we look at cars and gawk at girls. Occasionally, the 10 year old within jumps out at the passing of super cars, we cheer with excitement wholeheartedly while onlookers are slightly amused by our antics. On the surface, our wordy discussion are only fuelled by our passion for cars and girls. And yet, at times we do share advice and touch on more austere issues.

N: That car shape looks suspiciously like an RX-7, but it's too long. Maybe he modded the body, but why would anyone want to change the shape of an RX-7?

V: Then again, it could be a Silvia S13. The front end has the exact same design although the sides looks like an NSX. Maybe he wanted to mimic an NSX?

N: Hmm.......maybe man. Maybe.

6 hours of appreciating womankind and automotive marvels, we start to ask ourselves...Is this a form of meditation? A place of freedom confined within an area no bigger than a stairway, ironic isn't it? We escape from disturbances and uncertainty, in a place where time has no meaning. The weight of reality has dissipated from our shoulders, only to return thereafter as we resume our roles in this rat race.

V: DUDE! Six o' clock, approaching fast!

-Silence-

N: She knew we were looking at her! Right after I turned she was looking directly at me, but yeah she's at least a good 7!

V: I know! That's why I called! Nice tan she's got!

Do I reject reality? Yes.

Does it help? Yes.

Does it come back to haunt me? Yes.

I know but do not understand nor do I comprehend. Therefore, I do not know. Nevertheless self-induced psychological trauma occurs, while the unwavering hatred of oneself lingers resultant of the dissatisfaction of not knowing. I know but do not know. I know but do not know. I know but do not know. I hate regimentation, I hate repetitions, I hate myself. For being human, for being so flawed and for falling into emotional traps time after time. I am a fucking idiot. So damn predictable.

N: You eating dinner? How about some Indian food?

V: Yeah, I could go for some Roti Prata.

N: Is the one near cheers good?

V: Roti Prata's good, Teh-Peng's good and so is the Mee Goreng.

N: Okay, cool let's go!

I am a hypocrite. A part of me wishes for the worse, while the sweet sounding words I say beg to differ. A part of me wished I never said that, wished that the day never came and wished you were still with me. Sore loser. Sour grape. I let it happen again, I never learn.

I need to cool my head. I'm cool. Just blowing off some steam.

Contentment? Nowhere near where I wanna be. I ain't complaining for I am very much satisfied with where I stand. Don't think I can change much within such a short time, but that how it just is. Something will happen eventually, good or bad? Who's to say as of now? I can't help but feel a tinge of confusion, is this in any way wrong?

Back to square 1 but at least I am able to speak now. It just takes some time, nothing can be achieved within a shotgun blast. Then again, people will point out that I do what I know I shouldn't. I want to scream out to the world, I don't care many time I keep saying it. It's meaning still stays the same with every repetition and do my feelings.

I am aware of the self-induced craziness, and yet it can't be controlled. I don't want to crash and burn again, but the possibility of which keeps on rising inevitably. Is it alright to turn a blind eye to the outcome? Would it be okay to dwell in ignorance? I fear. I reject. I wait. I repeat.

Note: I am being as ambiguous to the core for a good reason.