-After a brief chill session-
Went out to buy stuff today, getting ready for my long vacation. Bought the Kube Mp3 player thing and some drawers. Some of you might wonder why buy drawers? Don't they provide you with cupboards and a locker and stuff at Tekong? Go look up a dictionary.
This weekend is gonna be one heck of a weekend. Tomorrow is jam-packed with a day job then jamming at night. Followed by a Colourful Sunday! Literally. We iz gonna play paint ball! Funny how it took us over a year to plan this outing, when it's such a simple task which took no more than 10 mins to finalize.
Great efficiency! Nah. Actually it was hard to get 10 people free on a same day. Try it, it's not an easy task. Plus, most of us don't actually have school holidays so that's another issue to solve. Gah! Only 3 and a half hours left to sleep. Good luck Vicky, like totally freakin' seriously. I think in my previous blog, I did mention tips and tricks to help you save time waking up and maximize/optimize time between wake up to leaving the house.
However, they won't really work if you don't get up on time anyways.
Looking at how many of my friends are going overseas, travelling and all makes me really really envious. They go to Hong Kong, China, Sydney, Japan, America and many other places. What about me? It's not that I am comparing myself to them, being jealous because they are more well off than me. Rather than being sore about it, I actually am envious about them getting so much exposure.
And most of them make those trips in a way part of chasing their dreams. They see the world, learn from their travels and experience a new lifestyle. At this age, you'd think I would have a dream or some sort of goal. Ironically, this dreamer is stuck in fantasy and a naive mindset. My goals are too far-fetched, too unrealistic that I have been laughed at many times.
In short, I have no dream. No feasible realistic goal. There are so many things I want, but none that stands out the most. Someone once asked me how will I be able to support a family in future? I wasn't sure. I thought time would tell, and we'd grow together to see something. Something which would set us on the right path. Time did tell. We grew apart. Somehow the path wasn't right, and it just forked out in two separate ways.
Now I still stand lost wandering around. Everyone else seem to be going somewhere while I stray. I hope this 2 years will give me a good time to think hard about my future. I don't want to stand still and let any opportunity slide by, leaving me with nothing but a regret. Gutless, afraid. I no longer want to just give a smile that hides the words from my heart.
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