Irrational and emotional

I have observed my biggest weakness. Seen the drastic change from positive to negative to positive, pray tell when will negative come. I am ruled by emotions, I am ruled by my feelings. This hinders my judgemnt greatly, but I can't that over night.

Maybe I don't have the concentration, I don't have the patience and lack the awareness. If this is so, I have a long way to go. I am biased, flawed and rash. Knowing it doesn't solve anything, it may only be the start.

Why? I don't know. Why? I don't know. Why?

What happened to me? Why am I stuck in this slurry of mixed emotions? It's so sudden. I don't even know what is the cause, or is there even a cause.

I have no reason to despair, no reason for anger. I can't answer my own questions, not even when this shit will stop.