10 mins. Again.

Double dang it. 10 mins late again! How can it just slip my mind! Anyways, totally productive day today just because I studied 3 hours straight! Yes. For once in my life I actually dragged my ass down to the library just to study and sat there for 3 productive hours. I only used twitter twice.

Reading up on Developmental Psychology is really fascinating, the more I learn the more interested I get with the subject! It's like everything just falls into place and makes sense. I am really happy I picked the right course and for the first time in my life (academically speaking), I am clear on what I want!

So enough about studies for one day because I am gonna continue again tomorrow morning, how about something else for a change. The other day I saw a fine pair of shoes at Bata going for $29. Yes, from Bata but you gotta trust me on this one. They looked really good. Dilemma, dilemma. Here I am trying to save money, on the other hand I am also inclined to purchase clothes to update my wardrobe.

Now I have been saying I need to update my wardrobe for a million years and I have. It's just that the ratio of new clothes to whatever that has been there since 2009 (everything else was there earlier than that) is 1 : 25? I don't really have loads of clothes, just loads of old T-shirts.

I have been updating my wardrobe but well...my progress is hardly a big update. So yep, still working in it. Guess that's all for today, gonna have a long day of study ahead tomorrow.

End.

10 mins late!

Dang it. I was telling myself to get ready to blog at 10pm but well, I am late. Got slightly distracted by some TV shows. Everything seems to be in good order! My appetite is going down I suppose while my exercise routine is still going strong. My mind is kinda empty right now, I have no idea what I should write about. Seriously. Well, I definitely don't like the new Blogger layout. Haven't gotten used to it because I have been blogging from my tablet since my first post this year!

Man, my mind is really blank right now. Usually I would just type away everything that happened today and thought just flow freely but today is just a boring Monday. Can't believe I just sat down and stared at the floor for the past 30 seconds, yeah. My mind is really empty. Right now I am just looking around my room for something interesting to blog about but still nothing.

Well, I have a can of red bull that's been sitting on my table top for about 6 months already? I planned to drink it in times of emergency and whenever I need an energy boost but that day doesn't seem to come - which is a good thing. Man. I really got nothing on today. On that bombshell, I think it's best that I just end this post. For real.

End.

Taking on the world.

So I have been talking about taking more responsibilities in life and taking control of my life. For starters, I have been giving more structure to my life by setting some goals for myself and trying my best to uphold them. For the next step, I have started to pay for my own expenses and shit!

So yesterday, I brought my folks out for ice cream after dinner. Homemade ice cream at Shaw Towers! I haven't been spending quality time with my folks since I was 16 so it's about time I caught up with them! And just a few hours ago, I brought them out for dinner to have fish and chips!

I am sure they weren't happy that I paid for dinner but the fact that I am trying to be more independent. Also, they probably were happy at the fact I was willing to spend time with them and all. I mean they have done a lot for me for the whole of my life, what I did was really the bare minimum of the least I could do.

I am glad that I did something nice for my folks, I really am. I am also glad that I am keeping my word of blogging at 10.30pm daily. It's time that I straightened my life and make big changes!

End.

Keeping on track.

Okay.

So turns out I have been putting off my blogging for awhile already. The point is that I am back here again to blog! Welp, exams are in a week and I have started studying already. I would definitely need to kick it up a notch because I do have alot of work cut out for me and I do need to remember quite a lot of things.

It's pretty late already, new rule of blogging for myself: Blog by 10.30pm.

Regardless of where I am, I will be blogging by 10.30pm daily.

Saving up for my big trip is going on well, so is the exercising! I am keeping to my goals but same like my studying pace..it's time to kick it up a notch.

End.

A good balance

So I am not sure if I mentioned that I had plans to go overseas for quite awhile. I plan to finish my course of study by early April? A few of us already planned to go snowboarding in NZ or Aussie in June next year, half would be going for a week or two and the other plan to stay on for months. Yeah, you might be thinking that it's gonna cost a bomb. Our plan is to work on some farm or job hop while exploring the country.

First stop, NZ or Aussie. When we are done we would head on down to Europe and explore! Not too sure whether Europe would offer any exchange program or anything but if they do that'd be awesome. I have decided that I do need to see more of the world, get exposed and gain experience! Not to mention build up contacts! And the best time to do it is now, while I am still young before I break into the rat race.

I realized that a good deal of Singaporeans are complacent or perhaps afraid to venture out. Singapore is just so small compared to any other country let alone the rest of the world.  I want to experience the different working environments of Psychology around various parts of the world, gain valuable experience and hoping build a network of friends all around the world.

For tonight, it would be a night of fun with my friends from the heartlands - that's why I am blogging so early. A certain someone is turning 23! I guess that's all for tonight, hope I make it home alive! Heh.

End.

Back from the not-so-dead

The past few days have been utterly horrid, I still haven't completely recovered too. Been perspiring alot recently since I fell sick, which is kinda ironic because I had difficulty sweating at the start of my sickness. Not that I am wishing for it to stay until I am completely healed but I think it's about time that I went back to normal? I mean I know I put on weight but surely it can't be that bad right? And besides, it's starting to get on my nerves feeling so yucky throughout the whole day. So I don't know if it's the weather or my sickness that is causing this but if things still stay the same after the end of this week...then I will figure something out.

Progress with my guitar is going good! Finally spending quality time with my guitar! Hey, I have been playing the guitar since 12 but it has always been on and off. At least things a different now, trying out new stuff as well as learning new stuff. For some reason, "without me" has been stuck in my head for a good week coming to the second week. You gotta admit that the tune is really catchy, it just sucks when I am thinking about important things and I can't concentrate all thanks to slim shady.

Been spending quite alot of time with my folks too, mostly because I am cooped up at home resting. Been eating with them quite alot since the past few days, spent quality time with them chatting and all during dinner. I mean not that i don't eat with them at all but our timings are different, I end up eating later than them most of the time. Plus, I usually eat food while doing other stuff. Up to this point of time, I have ran out of stuff to write about. I figured I would have more considering I missed out a couple days worth of blogging because I was sick. Okay, I guess that kinda answered my own question in a way. April is coming, a new month ahead. March has been rather interesting, not in a good or bad way really. Welp, a new month is gonna bring in new things I guess.

So I guess this is it for tonight!

End.

Sick

Call it bad luck if you must, fell really sick since early Thursday morning. Been burning a fever and a killer inflamed throat and still not anywhere near recovery yet. Head hurts like a bitch, throat hurts even more than that and haven't been able to stop sweating since this morning. I don;t really like to sweating because it is dehydrating me alot which is causing the headache to worsen. As for the super sore throat, I just want to recover as soon as possible, I feel like I am suffocating and every time I swallow my own saliva it feels like I am choking badly. Oh great, headache is getting worse. Time to rest.

End.

Going good!

So it's day two of my postings! I am actually glad that I followed through with this, honestly I didn't have much faith in myself carrying on with this. I guess I was wrong about myself in a good way! So not such a good day today, woke up late for work, left work alot later than usual and the zipper of my pants broke. I really liked it alot! I hope I can somehow find a way to repair it so I can wear it again soon. Didn't have time to exercise today, really rushing here and there but at least there is gonna be a long weekend ahead! Not to mention, it's been awhile since I hung out with the guys and I am glad I got the chance to! Ian, for one, isn't too keen on the idea of Brocho cheese again. Of course, this time round I will make sure the dishes are clean before putting any food on them!

Whenever I stare out of my room window, I just see this really tall tower - I call it Gotham City Tower. The way it was designed just screams Batman and Gotham City to me, I can imagine Comish Gordon up on the roofs with the bat signal. Just staring at it makes me think about Batman and the theme song from Batman the animated series just starts playing in my mind. Going off track again, the main point is that such a sight always just makes me think or reminisce. My mind can just wander from topic to topic or jump from memory to memory. So what's on my mind now? Thinking about the things I used to do when I was younger. Burning stuff, trashing stuff and lots of jackass-que antics.

Funny how I am just sitting here in front of my Padphone letting all my thoughts flow freely, mind you this is just me typing out whatever that just comes to mind! Surprisingly, not much grammatical errors or errors in the sentence structure. Maybe there are countless errors but to me it seems perfectly fine. Another thing I would like to add to my to-do list is to continue with two stories that I am actually writing but left them on hiatus since awhile back. If possible, I would also be delighted to obtain whatever left of a story I wrote that is lost somewhere in the MINDEF intranet. I would like to continue with the story and end it properly like how I had originally intended to.

Just remembered I haven't eaten my dinner yet! And sitting beside me is a bag of chips which was supposed to be last night's dinner but thankfully, at the back of my mind was a voice screaming for REAL food. Haven't touched my guitar for today, I do need to trim my nails too before I start playing since I have been putting that off as well. I guess that's all for today! Did I accomplish anything? Yeah! I did! ( Besides work related, my own goals!) Things are going great, let's keep this positive momentum going steady!

End.

2013

Good evening, it's been quite a long time. Such an understatement, really. I can't remember when it was the last time I have actually visited here, let alone made a post. The C-box should be filled with spam and nonsense, what's important is that I am back to make use of this space once again. It's a big commitment issue I guess, but things needs to change for the matter. For one, I need to take control of my life and not just follow anywhere the wind blows. For starters, I need some form of regimentation. As much as I hate that, I do realise my life has been one without much if not any form of regimentation. That is of course less the two mandatory years of National Slave...I mean servitude.

Back to topic, I am actually allocating more time to study - literally sitting down and reading the textbooks. I do enjoy school and I can't lie to myself regarding the actual amount of time and effort I am putting in. It's all about the commitment, I am aware of that. My actions will speak for itself for the school terms to come. Next up, my own health. I have been abusing this host body of mine (not literally) and it's time to take good care of myself! Stop procrastinating and more exercising, not to mention less pigging out and more of eating what I required. I would allow myself to junk it out occasionally and also reward myself with a certain fermented beverage more occasionally but of course sparingly. Key word: SPARINGLY.

Next on the list, maintaining the usage of this space and putting more thoughts here. That means blogging daily, part of certain goals I have set and also more goals I have in mind to come! Personal opinions, thoughts are random musing included! I do intend to practice radical honesty (Courtesy of Ernest), because it has been brought to my attention that I think too much. I need to stop thinking and just do. That's right. So one of the ways to practice that is to just pen down my thoughts as they flow, without editing or adjusting them to anyone's expectations or subjecting them to some form of censorship. So that's the more important points that I have listed down lest I forget, my memory has been really bad. Like REALLY BAD.

So here's what I will do:

- Exercise more and eat & drink sparingly. (Does not apply to water, I should be drinking more water!)
- Sleep early, by midnight every night.
- Study at least an hour every day, the more the merrier. (Lesson time does not apply!)
- Blog daily, be true to my thoughts.
- Just execute it! (Due to copyright infringements and blatant over-usage of a certain slogan.)

Oh! Here's a little bonus:

- Pick up french again and learn it properly this time!

Yes, I am serious. I want to do it right this time.

End.

Hello.

It's been so many months since my last entry, during this time I could have easily gone to different corners of the world and back but well..I didn't.

What I have done is something simpler. Just a journey to learn more about myself. I feel really different now, a lot lighter in fact. The people I have met along the way, the experiences I have encountered everything help :)

I managed to accomplish some of my goals of course I still have many more ahead of me! I finally built my computer that I have been meaning to built, got a new phone + tablet and all. Enough about the physical gains, I think what matters most is the mental or emotional gains that I have reaped in my course of this "journey".

I can safely say that I am quite grounded, in the emotional & mental aspect - not that I was a total nut job in the first place! I have come to terms with everything that has happen, is happening and will happen in my life. Kinda awesome, nope? I recall very clearly that I claim to know, but finally I am clear between knowing and understanding.

To know is not to understand, to know is just be aware. To understand is to be aware and comprehend, took me quite awhile to realize that. For now, I am really happy with where I am, I couldn't have wished any better but I am not stopping here of course! This is a start for me and being positive isn't something that is temporary any more.

End of October.

So what are the big things that happened for this month? Nothing much. Went to the zoo, had a steamboat dinner with the Lee's, finally applied for SUTD, have my own workstation at WDA, went through a life-changing experience over the weekend @ TAM.

Convinced my dad to buy a storage bed and some new shirts and currently in the midst of successfully psycho'ing both my parents to get a Galaxy S2 each. I still haven't receive my remuneration from work, hopefully it'll reach by the end of next week. Oh yeah, managed to further optimize my crappy Acer Liquid. I know I complain alot about my phone, I have always had a love-hate relationship with Acer but the good news is that someone is working to port ICS to the Liquid!

I swear that I WILL get my hands on the ASUS transformer pad prime and a BOSS GT-8 by the end of this year and clear any outstanding. Another year has passed, well almost passed but still! It's really fast!

Whoa.

One word titles are awesome, it gives you ambiguity and lots of room for digression. But I would prefer to have 1 word fortune cookies, that way they will be concise bullshit. Straight to the point, no fuss.

Imagine you break one and the message you get goes like "Lady luck smiles upon you, from rags to riches you will become." That's utter bullshit. Whereas something like "good", "bad", "lol" or ":)" just saves time.

On a side note, I have no idea what this post was dedicated to and that the title of this post bears no relation with whatever junk I have just written.

Seriously, I can't remember what I wanted to blog about in he first place.

Lost.

I am trying to find my way in life.

I am trying to find my future career.

I am trying to find myself.

I am trying to make you happy.

I am trying to not blame myself.

Above all, I am trying not to fail.

And yet, no progress has been made.

I am still stuck here.

:D

Thank you, you made me feel alot better like you always do. :)

Egocentric.

Its just me.

It really is.

...

Fuck.

Can't sleep.

What have I done?

My life is in a complete mess now.

My thoughts are even more confused now.

What have I done?

Hello.

You are looking at the worst person in the world.

Selfish and all.

I am such an asshole.

I really hate myself, just die already.

abcXYz

A year ago, things seemed so different.
Before the time that we started.
Could things stay the same in future?
Don't count on it, as everything is ever-changing!
Enjoy the present and embrace the memories!
Follow our hearts and not worry too much.
Good things come for those who wait.
Hopefully, we don't need to wait so long!
I guess we should also be happy with what we have.

Just remember that we have each other :)

Keep that in mind when doing anything.

Let us be reminded that we have someone to fall back on!
Make good the time that we have, that is now.
Not forgetting the future we'll build!
Over the months, I have learnt so much from you.
Please keep on teaching me about myself, yourself and us.
Question my thoughts and actions, if you must.
Rest assured I will tell you everything!
Say what you must and I will answer.
Today, tomorrow, together, there we will be.
Understanding and loving each other so much.
Very much like the couple from Up!
Whenever you need me, I will be there.
Xinyi, Thank you so much for everything.
Yesterday, were memories that I will cherish.

Damn it. Words beginning with Z are like words that are seldom used

Thank you for everything, for being my wall for me to fall back on. For being my source of energy.

I love you so much.

Thank you.

To do/ buy list for the rest of 2011

Okay, so it took me less than 5 mins to realize that alit of things in my room and my life has been at a standstill for close to 2 years. Thanks to NS. I have alot to do, like really alot.

First up, I already did a major packing of my room a few months back. And yet, it is still not enough. This time round, when I say packing I mean throwing out worthless junk that I have kept for more than 5 years thinking I might use it someday. Oh yeah, I need to make full use of my drawers in my cupboards and empty the ones in my table.

Next up, buying new clothes. I think underwear should be given more priority, since some of the elastic bands on my current ones have totally lost their elasticity. And ah crap, I keep forgetting to send my black jeans for alteration. Eh..since 7 months ago.

Plus, I am badly in need of shirts, especially dress shirts.

And since the death of Mcspazatron, I haven't been able to do any work on the go. All I have now is a fancy paper weight, which has a working LCD screen and RAM. I took out the hard disk and converted it to a mobile hdd the moment it officially died, so yep. Prolly going to save up for a tablet with a physical keyboard dock.

Then, I recently discovered some problems osqccurring very frequently on my desktop. My desktop is already obsolete in computer-years, and it might not be easy to replace certain parts. I estimated the resale value of my current rig, and it would fetch me about...$300 if I am lucky. Not to mention, the only thing I can salvage would be the casing. Thus, it is better to keep it as a spare PC or server and get another one. Argh, more savings are needed.

So yep, that's what I would be focusing on and hopefully I would be able to achieve these goals by August or September!