At the rate people are getting infected by H1N1, due to irresponsible actions (not blaming anyone or any organisation in particular), sooner or later we will be facing a 28 days later situation. And anyone who has watched or played decent zombie games/movies, not including the overrated and over hyped left 4 dead, would understand that if it were to happen in Singapore ...WE'RE SCREWED!

First rule of escaping zombie-infested-mall-city-whatever : WEAPONZZZ!

And where the hell in Singapore can one obtain guns? Random gun shops around orchard road?Only if there was! SPF's armoury? SAF's armoury? You dead before you can reach them! So alright, guns aside how about some kick ass swords huh? Maybe a nice Machete, you want something with good range compared to a puny combat knife.

Too bad you can't get those easily, the most you are gonna get are replica blades. And being replicas, they don't exactly have the same durability and cutting power of the real deal. I'll be damned if the life span of 1 replica blade can last after 1 chop! Human.. no make that zombie flesh and bones aren't easy to slice and dice okay?

So what you are left with are bludgeoning weapons, they are blunt objects such as baseball bats, clubs and batons. Too bad baseball isn't popular around here, though I'd like to see people defending themselves with dragon boat paddles, table tennis bats and bowling balls. That'd make my day instantly right there!

With all that listed out, by now you might have known that improvised weapons would be your best option. Like a supercharged nail gun? Would love to have one of those! Or maybe a nice pesticide sprayer thingy modded into a devastating awesome flame thrower! Yeah, since you are stuck in zombie land go nuts with your imagination 'cos it might just save your life!

Second rule of surviving zombie land: GTFO! Which stands for GET THE F*** OUT!-of there.

If you are still human, have not been bitten all and haven't lost your mind, you would wanna leave no? Although it is proven time after time, again and again that THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO mostly in the movies, moving is the only way to survive. You might chance upon sanctuary or something somehow! Oh and optimism is like an energy bar, it's not enough but it still keeps you going.

Third Rule: Don't freaking go alone, move as a group!

You need comrades, compardres and friends stuff like that. Someone who watches your back while you watch theirs, face it you CAN'T do this alone! Basic rule of dog fighting, never let up your 6'o clock to the enemy. So fan out, there's only so much one can do but make sure if they run away...you run away with them too!

Forth rule: Lights out at night!

Make sure you blend in with the darkness. Some will disagree with making any moves during night time, I will just stay neutral on this one. Sometimes you gotta move means you gotta move. There's no point staying, if you have the chance to move somewhere safer and less populated with zombies. So I will just stick with no lights at night, since we all know zombies are like moths.

Fifth rule: Don't let them touch you!

This one's a no brainer, would you let a stranger touch you? Let alone some walking corpse with this compelling urge to eat out your brains? If they bite you, shoot yourself in the head or get someone to do it for you. Which is worse? The split-second pain or knowing you will end up joining the legion of the undead? Take one for the team and bite the bullet! If you can't bear to do it I bet you someone else would gladly oblige...that is to shoot you in the head.

Well, I am just exaggerating the aftermath of H1N1. Or am I....? Nahh....it won't happen in a million years! Or will it??? I could go on forever with this dramatic plot twist even without the music, so for now a nice surgical mask would suffice in putting one's mind at ease!